Category: Personal Growth

Personal growth, parenting, more

5 Days and Counting – The Gift of a Day

Morning,

Well! 5 days and counting until the slicing and dicing. And it just can’t come a moment too soon!

But in other good news, today is a positive day for me leg-wise; I woke up feeling rather refreshed and capable. After designing my FabFitMom affiliate tutorial, I went off on my beloved circle walk. It wasn’t too cold but you could tell rain was in the air with lots of gusting wind that buffeted my body while walking.

Oh, it was glorious! It so reminded me of those days in college when I’d sneak out during any rainstorms or hurricanes or what have you and experience the elements. And I realized….this morning was the Gift of a Day for me. In 5 days, I’ll be on crutches and not able to walk for the foreseeable future; I’m extremely grateful to the universe for having experienced this one adventure before I go to the hospital.

Life is never stagnant! Just because you might today possess the body shape of an overgrown eggplant and have the flexibility of a chuck of concrete…that doesn’t mean tomorrow will see you the same way.

The future is yours and what you choose to make of it. So honor yourself…and make it well.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Barbara

ps – want Thanksgiving goodies? Consider:

6 days and counting – breaking your boundaries

Morning,

Well! 6 more days and I shall be sliced and diced and hopefully have my leg problem resolved.

That’s the good news.

The bad news is that I’m fast running on empty with regards to all of this. I find myself besieged with emotional roller coasters…and sometimes just want to give myself permission to give up and be despondent.

Idiot me, however, can’t even manage that!! Walking-wise, my legs were quite lousy today, so I opted to miss (only for the second time I can imagine) my karate classes (even my beloved kendo). I figured I’d stay in bed and watch TV, but oh no! I had to idly glance down at my legs and think, gee, I wonder how difficult balancing on my left foot (the one with the 1/2″ shortened fibula) really has to be?

I never learn (or…I simply continue to grow). I spent several minutes trying to keep myself balanced and amazingly, was able to achieve more than 3 seconds (something I’ve never done before). But not only that – I can bend my knee a fraction of an inch more, thus helping my balance improve.

But wait! That was supposed to be impossible to achieve…I always thought my physical condition was WHAT IT WAS and it would never change. And one thought led to another which led to me thinking, gee, I wonder how hard a split would be to do?

Answer – quite difficult, I cannot achieve it. But…just because I cannot now, doesn’t mean I cannot in the future.

All these years I’ve been limiting myself by what I thought were my boundaries…and not giving myself permission to actually see if they’re rock-honest facts, or merely another challenge I can overcome.

I’m humbled by this knowledge. It’s really kinda sorta priceless….the idea that sometimes, it’s your own mind’s blindness that keeps you stationary and unmoving.

6 days and counting,

Barbara

ps – I’ve heard that yoga is great for splits:

Self-defense and being knocked flat on your rear

Morning,

Yesterday I had my last class in women’s self-defense, and let me tell you, it was utterly eye-opening to the extreme.

I’d like to urge everyone reading (men and women alike!) to take a self-defense class (mine was given by our local police); the common-sense taught on how NOT to become a victim in the first place is worth its weight in gold. And the striking techniques are also extremely useful as well, in that they show you you ARE capable of hitting strongly and with focus. ‘course, in a real life situation, things will be starkly different…but at least you’ll have a glimpse of what options are out there.

My last class had our two instructors take us one by one in a darkened room and attack us for what seemed like 5 minutes. I did decently until the last minute; when one of the guys grabbed me to trip me up, I hung on…and then was neatly flung to the ground and pinned. Talk about astonishment – this guy weighed 200 pounds and I simply could not move whatsoever. I was neutralized in the blink of an eye.

In hindsight, it happened so quickly I didn’t have the chance to react. But that can’t be right either – I had the chance alright, but I didn’t recognize that fact and make use of it! Afterwards, I thanked the instructor – it was really an eyeopening experience. I need to get better with my techniques.

Thus, I’ve been researching lots of self-defense sites online, and have come across the following great resources:

Do yourself a favor and check them out – what you learn today could be the difference between survival and not tomorrow.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here are some more self-defense goodies:

Life is a 4 Letter Word – I think you spell it L-O-V-E

Morning,

I first came across this poem back in 1986 – enjoy!

Life is a four letter word……..
I think you spell it L-O-V-E

It’s really as simple as that……

No, I don’t really think that I can totally describe love
but I do know some things about it.

Seems to me that in order to be in love, you have to be
able to be weak. Sure, certain aspects of love take
a real strength. But, it is true that in order to
experience love at its best, you have to be able to
be weak, vulnerable and accept the possibility that
you might get hurt. If you are too tough to let
yourself be so open for attack, then I am afraid you
can never feel love to its fullest.

Is it worth it to take such a risk. I don’t know the answer to
that….but I do know that even though I have gotten
hurt occasionally, I would do it all over again. The
Joys were more memorable than the pain.

Actually, most of the times that I ended up hurt were not because
I left myself vulnerable, but rather that my stupidity tricked
me into arming myself against “the one I loved”, so that she
couldn’t hurt me. Once I let myself take the defensive,
I usually ended up causing more problems than I solved.

What should a person do: Should a person be tougher and more
protective of themselves even though they take away from
the full effect of love….Or should you be more vulnerable
and weak and open to possible attack….

I am WEAK! Not because I choose to be this way….but rather because
in all honesty, I know no other way.

I am weak….I sometimes get hurt….but I have felt love….

-JT

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – want more poems? Consider:

Parental resources for screening movies for kids

Morning,

Today I debated about taking my kids to the movies, and learned that a 3-D Beowulf was in the theaters.

But is it appropriate for kids?

According to many of the sites I found, errrrr…..the answer is NO WAY!

If you’re a parent, checking out what’s good for kids is always a wise thing before spending money on the tickets. Here are some resources you can utilize:

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – truly, however, the best movies are Star Wars like so:

Worlds falling apart

“This is madness! You must give her sanctuary!”

Ramis was silent a beat too long, as if to give Auriane time to listen to herself. There was no flicker of emotion in that enigmatic face. Then she whispered, “I won’t tear the fair web spun by one far greater than I.”


“You care naught for any of us! Of what use are you!”

“Your true enemy, Auriane, is the part of you that you fancy is most reasonable – that’s so certain it knows what’s right. You’re disappointing me. How, by the powers, did you lull yourself into thinking the world wouldn’t fall apart?

Didn’t it….before?

Doesn’t it….always?”

Lady of the Light by Donna Gillespie

Such a super book that is!!!

Barbara

ps – see it here:

When your body tells you NO WAY IN HECK!!

Morning,

Well.

Well well.

Well.

I’m due for surgery now in 12 days (that’s the good news!).

The bad news is that my leg problems are increasing daily. I started my beloved circle walk….and after 100 feet, realized…it would be utter insanity to continue it.

So I came back home.

I’m at a crossroads yet again in my life. I want to continue exercising…and at the same time, I know I must give my leg a rest. Thus, perhaps I’ll simply lift weights later on today. But what a personal shock it was for me to realize my current state.

In the interim, I reviewed our dojo’s sword demo, and was able to transcribe all 106 moves. I will bring this paper with me to the hospital; might as well teach myself something while I’m in recovery.

I find myself wanting to be several people at once. I want to run away and hide…yet I want to continue with my karate/self defense until the last possible moment. I want to be by myself so I can drop the confident facade….and at the same time, I want to be in front of my colleagues and conquer all my fear and pain and overcome my current worries. I want to prove to myself that no matter what happens in my life, I will not only survive…but thrive.

12 more days and counting.

And life goes on,

Barbara

ps – Pedometers are great for walking, did you know that?

The fear has disappeared – fighting past your little voice

Morning,

About 1.5 months ago or so, I experienced an amazing array of emotions during one of my Kendo (Japanese swords) classes. It was the first time I had really sparred, and I had been put face to face with utter, blinding fear. You can read about it over at this post.

Well…yesterday I had my beloved kendo practice again, and I was debating about taking it easy (what with surgery scheduled in 12 or 5 days). But hey, knowing me, I threw myself into it with quite a lot of enjoyment…and then it happened.

I realized something most neat!

I have no fear anymore when doing kendo sparring.

True, I’m still quite incompetent in it (although I am learning to block vaguely decently!!). But when I faced off against my opponent, all of that “eeek I’m gonna DIE!” feelings….were simply not in existence.

This experience has shown me that life is never static…what you fear today might be conquered by tomorrow. You should never give into the little voice that bleats, you will fail, you cannot do this, you’re better off not even trying….instead, you should honor your inherent greatness.

It was a very good class indeed. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – a good award for breaking past fear can be:

Everything happens for a reason even though…

Morning,

I’m a firm believer that everything in life happens for a reason. You might not know at that very moment just why things are occurring, you might not understand it for another week or year or decade or even three decades….but sometime in the future, the light is going to go zingo! in your head, and you’ll realize the true gifts that your otherwise agonizing problems had given you, ‘way back when.

I was reminded of this yesterday when one of my kids was at aikido. You see, there’s a slight issue of self-confidence involved; like me when I was that age, this particular child finds it difficult to be assertive and push back when necessary. So! I asked the sensei to get in her face and let her deal with the situation.

Now, this was very difficult for her to endure. As a matter of fact, she started crying even though she didn’t want to (again like me, she can’t stop such things – it just happens. She’s learning to work thru that). But the sensei gave her some extraordinarily good wisdom about standing up for herself and never letting herself get pushed around. It was a very draining experience…but one that really made my kid happy at the end.

I was witnessing this as it was happening, and I realized…gee, most other parents would say, leave my kid alone, she can’t handle it. But oh, how I wished when I was that age…that someone had taught me self-respect and reliance!! But instead, I was one of the most pathetic kids around back then….and it took me decades to turn into the wondrous person I am today.

Ever since becoming a parent, I made a promise to myself that my children would surpass me in every way, including self-confidence. I never want my kids to be a loser like I was!

And then it hit me with the force of an earthquake as I was standing there. This is one reason why I had the utter hell of school life that I did….it was so I’d have the knowledge to recognize potential problems in my own children…and take steps to resolve them before they got out of control.

32 years ago…that was. 32 years. 3+ decades. Wow. But with this experience of yesterday, I can honestly say….I’d go thru twice the agony again if I knew the benefits my own family would reap from it.

Gotta love guardian angels sometime.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – want some great aikido stuff? Consider:

When a child’s failure is the parent’s fault

You know, sometimes I think people should have to pass rigorous exams in order to become a parent.

It’s astonishing to me, absolutely beyond belief, how many parents will allow their darling brats to run wild in life and society…and then, when confronted, defend their kids’ lousy behavior instead of saying, gosh, you’re correct. My kid is a twit. I need to correct his/her behavior, thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Children need boundaries, children need guidance, children need to learn how to effectively participate in today’s society without other individuals feeling the need to contact the pest control regarding them.

If you fail to raise your children right, all you’re doing is sabotaging their future lives and growth. After all, if they go through school thinking they’re God and untouchable, and if you do not allow them to experience consequences for their abominable behavior, all you’re doing is setting them up for the future failure they’ll encounter when they run into someone bigger and meaner than they are.

Don’t you love your kids? If so, why on earth would you allow them to sink to their base emotions?

As a mom of 4 myself, I simply have to shake my head in wonder at how truly incompetent some parents are. I see many parents at karate, and it’s obvious to me that some of the kids rule the household, not the adults. I truly admire the karate senseis’ patience; my gosh, I’d absolutely just plain refuse to teach kids like that. Children aren’t taught basic respect and politeness; if they are incapable of appreciating solid useful knowledge, they have no right to participate and cause stress to the other kids.

So! If you’re a parent, make things right with your children. Guide them and inflict consequences when they step off the path; you’ll be doing them a favor that will last long into their adulthood.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Of course, if parenting is stressful, you can always recover with: