Category: Personal Growth

Personal growth, parenting, more

The art of massage – so much more than a sensual exercise

One of the best things of working

at home is having a spouse who will proactively say, you look tired, want a massage? I had been working many hours straight since the wee hours of this morning, and let me tell you, that offer was one I snapped up with gratitude.

Now, massages can be a great prelude to sensual activities, but they can also be used as an extremely effective method for sheer relaxation with no strings attached. I’m a big proponent of massages; they’re a treat both to receive and to give.

Personally, I prefer the acupressure method of massages – that of following along your energy meridians across the back/legs/etc. There are lots of techniques you can use to relax the massagee, including music, aromatherapy, and long slow strokes coupled with emotional calmness.

Here are some of my favorite massage resources:

Now, regarding aromatherapy, I’ve found many people like my husband like the scent of lavender. I tend to associate instead scents of pine and rose with calmness (sandalwood is also a wonderful scent as well). One of the best places to get essential oils for massage oil is

Best of Nature

I’ve bought from there since 1993 and they always have a quality product (and super-fast mail delivery too!).

Finally, if you really want to get exotic with extremely feather-light massages…. use feathers! Peacock feathers, to be precise – they work wonders in sparking up the central nervous system. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Some great massage discounts include:

Turn Opportunities for Great Frustration Into….

It never fails, you know.

Get a brilliant idea, implement it…and then realize, you forgot some of the Golden Rules of Website Design:

* Sites look different on different browsers

* Font sizes can be set by viewers

* Cascading menus can cascade off the screen if they’re deep enough

Ah well, these things happen. Today will be another 18 hour day, methinks.

But! The good news is that the new enhanced design is much easier to navigate…so in hindsight, it’s a good thing I ran into this opportunity to experience great frustration.

Every happens for a reason, you know. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – are you frustrated? If so, get these great frustration toys!

Mom! I have a CRUSH MOM! And he LIKES me! And ….

You know, back when I was growing up,

my mom was fond of saying, if anything is going to happen to anyone anywhere, it’s going to happen to my daughter.

Oh gosh, she has no idea how right she is!

You might remember from my last post that I was utterly fatigued from work today – I’ve been doing massive amounts of programming and finally, gave myself permission to step away from the computer. After all, my kids were coming home, and I figured, golly, this would be a simply peachy time to decompress and relax and enjoy their company.

So! Picture this – exhausted Mom, on her last leg, opening the door for her kids and hearing (and I quote!)

MOM! I have a crush! And he likes me! I know he likes me because we wrote notes! And our friends gave them back and forth! And MOM! I have a CRUSH! And he likes me! AND MOM! Guess what! I have a crush! AND….

See Mom.

See Mom internalize all of this.

See Mom think, okay quick, what on earth do I say?

Do I talk about being subtle?

Do I talk about taking things easy?

Or instead….

Do I simply let her be happy and continue to float above the clouds?

I opted for the second option, of course. :)

Why such things can’t happen when I’m alert and awake and full of energy, I do not know.

I was 14 when I went thru this…it’s kinda sorta poignant to see my kid start her own journey.

Motherhood – it’s a hero’s journey!! :)

Enjoy,

Mom

ps – when your kids tell you the above, the following is certainly needed:

Know when to walk away and pamper yourself

How smart are you?

Do YOU know when to walk away from work and instead focus on pampering yourself?

This is one of the challenges entrepreneurs have, I will admit. If you’re the main power behind your company, you know that if you don’t do it….nobody else will!

But….therein lies the rub. I’m well-known for going bananas when it comes to work – I’ve been pulling insane hours for the past 10 days. The results are truly gratifying, mind you – it’s obvious that not too many people in this world can produce the quality I can in so short a time, but….

It really gets to you.

So! I have given myself permission to realize, I need to get away from the computer! If there was karate today, I’d be so thrilled – I’d love to spar and pummel/be pummeled by the black belts, but alas, no classes today. But the kids are due home soon, so methinks there will be a massive session of DDR in my future. Kid time is always the cure for work burnout.

What do YOU do when you need to get away from work? Have YOU ever considered pampering yourself? If so, here are some great resources:

Remember, tomorrow is always another day, and the world will not come crashing down in a heap if you take the time to be good to yourself.

What do you think?

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some nice ways of pampering yourself include:

Embracing your dreams – teach this to your kids

Morning!

My brilliant colleague

Maureen Sharib posted an utterly brilliant article over at In The Direction of My Dreams. To wit:

….. When I was a little girl I remember asking my mother what she’d like to have for Christmas. She’d always say some version of the following: “I just want you kids (all five) to be good!”

It wasn’t until I was a mother myself for awhile that I understood her words.

A couple years back I was walking through a popular local high-end mall before Christmas with my twenty-two year old and oldest daughter, Andrea. The stores were festooned with holiday paraphernalia and their windows and aisles stuffed with merchandise that seemed to flow out into the corridors. As we passed the Coach store I could see her eyes fall on an eye-popping $300 what couldn’t have been larger than 6 x 8 number that wasn’t much thicker than an inch …..MORE….

Wow, she hits the point HEAD ON:

  • I want to go in the direction of my dreams. I want to go unfettered; I want to be unimpeded in my pursuits. I want those around me to stop telling me why something won’t work and start telling me, “Okay let’s try.” I want support in my undertakings and encouragement; I want praise when I accomplish something. I want someone to dry my tears, to be patient with my ramblings, to reassure my doubt.

To go in the direction of my dreams.

What a brilliant idea…and yet, how many of us, especially those who have a couple of decades of life experience under our belts, allow ourselves to be frightened off from believing in future successes and challenges?

Who ARE we, indeed….to dare to buck the trends?

To step out of line?

To tell the world who is watching, to hell with you, I believe in myself! and I will SUCCEED no matter what!

Who are we….INDEED.

Everyone one of us has the spark of greatness within us. But all too often, we allow that to be dampened by doubts. Doubts from others, doubts from within…doubts that shatter our courage and cause us to shrink back into what the world expects.

To hell with that, says I! When you are seized with a new idea or new concept or something that is so out of this world, it’s never been done before…internalize the courage to be the first one to take a chance and DARE to succeed. Even if you don’t reach your goals, you’ll have the precious knowledge gained from the adventure…knowledge that will bolster your next attempt in the future.

I’ve been aware of this idea all thru my life, I will admit. I well-remember back when I was 25 – I was on a bus traveling towards a white water adventure run with my colleagues from AT&T. There were two gentlemen in their 40s sitting in back of me, and I heard one tell the other

“…yes, about 10 years ago, I had this great idea that I was sure would work….but my wife convinced me not to give up my current job. So I never really was able to get it off the ground. You know, I really regret that now….. “

I remember thinking, my gosh, how sad. When I’m in my 40s, I’ll never have to say that!

And you know what? I’m 43 now…and I don’t have to say that whatsoever. All of my dreams, I’ve tried – I’ve had utterly brilliant successes and humorously ridiculous failures but in every single case, I can say, I had the dream and I gave it my best.

Remember, Thomas Edison said (okay, he probably didn’t but it sure reads well!)

  • Thomas Edison had already tried over 8,00 experiments in to invent the electric light bulb, none of which worked.
  • Newspapers criticized him, cIaiming Edison a failure.
  • His response: “I have not at all failed. I’ve just eliminated 8,000 possibilities on the road to inventing a light bulb. When I’ve eliminated the ways that won’t work, I’ll find the way that will.”

So. What are YOUR dreams? And are you taking the steps to make them come alive?

If not, ’tis a pity….. because if you won’t, who will do it for you?

’tis to think.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here are some great motivational goodies:

What is sexy to you?

You know what is sexy to me?

Confidence.

I think if you’re confident in your own attractiveness and personality, you simply project a sexy image. It doesn’t have to be overt, it doesn’t have to be blatant…it’s simply, you know you’re a terrific human bean.

So many times, women (and men!) over 40 think that to be sexy, they have to compete with the 20 somethings or 30 somethings etc. I personally disagree. For one thing, if the person in whom you are interested is so shallow that they put looks/superficialness first, well then, that person really isn’t worth your time (or if she/he is, it’s simply to be used as a toy).

Your 40+ years have probably given you wisdom the younger set simply lack. Because you know yourself so well, you can project a aura of, I know my value…and if you’re smart, you’ll recognize it too. But hey, if you’re not, that’s your problem, not mine.

One of my favorite quotes is, I could be knock-kneed, cross-eyed and balding, and still be one of the sexiest persons anyone can meet. It’s all in the way you come across, all in the way you make the other person feel they’re the most important individual alive, all in the way you can enhance each other’s experiences.

So what is ‘sexy’ to you? Is it an open mind? Is it the ability to listen? If you’re attracted to me, is it biceps to die for and deltoids of delight? If you’re attracted to women, is it a figure that just doesn’t quit? And after the sex is done, is there anything else left that retains the aura of sexiness, or was it simply a transient experience that dissipates and leaves you feeling, ahem, what happened to the magic?

Know thyself! And your self-confidence will only improve.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Want some sexy glasses?

Children, nunchaku and taking a break

Morning!

Well, it’s a delightful Sunday afternoon.

I had planned on spending time hacking up my forum software, when one of my kids came to me and said, Mom! Let’s go practice our nunchaku katas outside!

Now, you have to understand – the last time I did nunchaku was about, oh, hmmm, 3 months ago? I had basically decided to drop this weapon as the kata required side kicks (which I was incapable of doing back then). However, I’m healed now, so I decided, heck, work could wait, let’s spend some quality kid time.

Wow, what a lot of fun it was! I was quite surprised that I remembered so much about the nunchaku techniques – I was even able to do the around-the-neck move with no problem at all. Perhaps I’ll rejoin the class again – it was really enjoyable.

And P90x-related, today is XStretch, but I’m debating about substituting it with YogaX. Gotta love the challenge that DVD presents.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some nifty nunchaku goodies include:

Dealing with cowardly lying children so they learn

You know, it never fails. Give yourself permission to actually take off time from work, give yourself permission to shut down and actually (gasp!) relax, and you immediately will have a crisis emerge with your small children that require your full attention and intervention.

Sigh.

So. Today, two of my single-digit kids decided to, ahem, conceive of creative uses for a broom. Now, this is not just any broom, mind you – it’s the Broom of Destiny, the Broom of Awesomeness, in other words, the only broom that really picks up parakeet feathers rather well and sweeps the floor adequately. End result – el broomo was snapped in two-o.

ARGH!!!!!

Okay, it’s just a broom – I have the wisdom to be calm and dignified about it. I gave a talk to them as to the utter unintelligence of that act, and sent them off to their room. But then I thought about it – one of my kids had earnestly told me, my brother was the one who broke it….but then he also admitted, he was doing the exact same thing as well.

In essence? He took the coward’s way out and tried putting 100% of the blame on his brother.

Ooooooo, not a good thing! If there’s one thing about which I’m completely irrational, it’s cowardice. It’s totally unacceptable in my family! And trying to shift blame to another person, simply to save one’s sorry hide, is the act of something rather pathetic.

So, I called back said kid and read him the riot act about such behaviors. I really harped on being strong and being brave and taking responsibility/ownership of one’s actions, even if those actions were wrong.

Sigh.

But I think I made my point. While it was tempting to simply cause as much angst responsible, I focused on getting the point across and discussing the issue with him. Thus, it’s a lesson learned…at the expense of my rest.

Ah well, the joys of being a parent. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – need help with raising kids? Check out these cool books:



Top 10 Apps for Apple iPhone

Morning,

Do you have an Apple iPhone? If so, are you utterly consumed with excitement at finding the most killer Apps available?

If so, not to worry – I’ve found them for you!

Apps aren’t the only thing you can find for your iPhone, of course. With open networks and design come major security risks as well! For more on that, check out:

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some nifty iPhone goodies:



I missed it soooo much! Karate sparring with gear

A quick post before I collapse in a heap

along with, hmmm, lessee…..8 hours of programming, 1 hour of P90x legs/back, and a 2.4 mile circle walk, I also did an hour of adult self-defense. And we sparred with gear!
Omigosh, I never realized how much I have missed sparring with gear. True, I do self-defense without gear (realism is a good thing!) but wow, with gear, head shots can be endured! I partnered up with a brilliant 3rd degree black belt who was extremely controlled and blindingly fast. My gosh, I’m so blindingly slow! It was like I was visiting another planet where everyone else had lighter gravity than me; my brain registered, hey! There’s this fist coming at me! but didn’t give my body the signal to move until I was hit.

’twas a glorious, wondrous class. I have to add sparring to my other lessons.

Nice nice nice, ’tis all I have to say, I’m still dizzy with how much I loved the activity. The last time I sparred with gear was, hmmm, 4 months ago? What a thrill to do it once again.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some neat karate gear includes: