Category: Parenting

Parenting

Mother knows everything, so don’t lie

Sigh.

You know, it’s quite an experience coming home from Martial Arts and having your child absolutely deny he broke something of his siblings, when 20 seconds prior, he readily admitted to it.

Sigh.

Very frustrating, indeed. I really dislike coming down on my kids, but realize…it just has to be done. Sigh. So I told him, Mom knows everything, it’s not wise to lie. I had him search thru the house to look for the missing piece of the broken thingee; it was very draining.

The good news is, he’s gaining more courage, and will stand straight when being disciplined and not cry/be weak/cower/etc. So I did have to praise him for that. The bad news is, he’s been banished from the computer until he finds it or until tomorrow, whatever comes first.

Being stern and holding the line when raising kids is very much NOT FUN! Necessary, yes, NOT FUN, definitely. But it’s what a mom has to do.

Time to rest,

Barbara

ps – Want some resources for raising kids?

But Mom, I’m tiiiiired!!!! Dealing with whiny children and exercise fitness

Kids. Gotta love ’em, else you’ll implode with grace and joy.

As you probably know if you read my blog, I’m a mom of 4 who lost 45+ pounds and currently is into staying healthy and fit. I do P90x, cardio, workouts, karate, etc.

Speaking of karate, I participate in that with all my kids. We recently received our blue belts (yay!) and generally go for an hour or two every other day or so.

Well, yesterday…one of my charming children whined to me, but Mom, I had gym, and I don’t feel like exercising, and I really want to play on my computer, and and and and and Mom, why are you laughing at me now?

You see, I’m a firm believer in walking the walk I talk to my kids. They have seen me push myself when my get-up-and-go-had-gotten-up-and-went, they saw me modify my workouts after recovering from surgery, etc.

In short, they know that “I’m tired from gym” doesn’t cut it with Mom – it makes her laugh instead.

Which brings me to the next point! Kids being kids, sometimes they’ll choose the easy way out. Why exercise if you can sit in front of the computer and play games?

This is where parents have to stand firm. True, if your child really is sick or really did over-do it etc., you can consider giving a break….but generally, you’ll find that once your child is at the activity, they’ll have a superfun time. I ended up taking all my kids with me to karate yesterday, and they all had a blast.

It was just the ‘getting them there’ that was a chore.

I’m certain, of course, that some year…they’ll internalize within themselves that taking care of their bodies is a Good Thing. Until then, however, it’s Mean Mommy Ling to the rescue! :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here’s some kids fitness goodies:

“It smells!” or …. How to tackle unique school backpack odors

Morning,

Sigh, kids are so….kid-like.

One of my kids came to me today and say, Mom, I need a new backpack, mine smells!

So he brought it over, and I checked it out….and then pulled out a fossilized sandwich that looked like it had been residing there since 1723.

  • “Ahem, child of mine, might you explain the meaning of this?” I gently asked.
  • “It smells!” he creatively responded.
  • “Well of course, if something is decaying in your backpack, that’s generally what happens, dear” I reassuringly told him.
  • “It smells!” he repeated, perhaps thinking that my Mom brain had passed over the obvious but would now demonstrate my All-powerful Mother Techniques.

Sigh. ’tis amazing what scientific experiments generally end up generating within a backpack. Anywhos, I doused it with foot powder and added some peppermint essential oils to boot; problem is solved, child is thrilled.

You just can’t get this kind of Real Life experience in corporate land. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some nice kids backpacks include:

Healing Touch – Important in family and friends

Morning all,

One of the most important things you can give your children (and spouses, and friends, and people who are important to you) is the gift of the healing touch.

What is that, I hear you ask? Well, ask a dozen different folks, and you’ll get a dozen different answers. I myself have my own brand of this, that has grown out of raising my family. My grandmother and parents passed it on to me.

For me, the healing touch encompasses many levels. You can perform it with just touch, or you can let your spirit animate your hands and lend energy and healing to the person you’re touching. The second form is very beneficial for physical and emotional healing; it gives the body focus and energy and rebuilds the person’s inner strength.

Using the healing touch is very different than massage. While you can heal with massage, mind you, I find the healing touch to be far more effective. Instead of using firm strokes, you use only the tips of your fingers and trace over various parts of the body. I tend to follow the energy meridians, and take great care to build upon each prior touch until I’ve reconstructed the entire energy flow.

This is superb for family and friends! I’ve rejuvenated my kids, energized my friends, and helped calm down family who was suffering from various sicknesses and the like. I think it enables both people (the healer and the recipient) to tap into the energies of the universe; I’m always surprised it’s not widely known.

Some resources for massage/healing touch include:

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some neat Healing Touch Resources include:

Karate kicks, Kendo hits, and bruised elbows oh my!

Howdy all,

Before I give myself permission to collapse in a heap from this evening’s workout, I have to post about:

I can actually do vaguely decent karate kicks now.

Not only that, but I actually like them. Hand techniques were my favorites before…but now that I can actually (gasp!) move! and kick! and almost balance! and … you get the idea…I really like doing kicks now.

This is an unbelievable shock to me, let me tell you. I’ve always been timid about using my legs and always felt like I didn’t have the ability to really use control. But today, I found myself asking for kicks as part of the practice and then mentally slammed myself – is this me? Me, asking to do something I never did well before….and now, actually really like doing today?

I really cannot wrap my mind around this. I honestly cannot. Decades of being totally incompetent with my legs, and now, it’s coming together. Wow.

And in Kendo today, it was the first time in 1.5 months that I did sparring…..and my oh my, you could tell. I’ve gained more confidence but lost whatever skill I might have had…I now have a delightful 3 inch bruise on my right elbow. Ouch! But it was still great fun (so I went a second time!).

I honestly wish I could package the wisdom I’ve been accumulating since July (when I found out about my doorknob on my femur) up until now….and instill it into my kids. But I think it’s something you have to experience and live yourself before you can fully internalize all the gifts it gives to your inner self.

Just had my coffee, and it’s time for sleep. Night night everyone!

Best wishes,

Barbara

ps – great karate stuff!

From mom to child – Bridging 21 years, Rutgers Math

Howdy all,

My gosh, it’s things like this that make being a mom all worth while.

Back when I was in college, I was the founder and president of the Rutgers University Math Club (loved the subject, couldn’t do it to save myself, but loved it nontheless…which is one reason why all of my kids are superior in it, I made certain they learned to love math at an early age). During my senior year, I decided to have a fund-raiser by designing and selling the Rutgers University Math Club t-shirts!

I vividly remember sitting outside Hill Center and drawing the building. Then I went home, added all the embellishments, and brought the finished product to a silk-screener close by the campus. To make a long story short, it turned out quite wonderful and when I graduated from college, I made certain to bring some back with me.

Fast forward 21 years. Last night, one of my kids brought out her sleeping mattress from my closet to sleep on the floor; somehow that hooked on one of the t-shirts. This morning as I was returning the mattress, I found that t-shirt on the floor, looked at it and told my eldest, hey look, Rutgers Math! And she said, math? I love math! Let me see!

She was absolutely entranced by the t-shirt, and more so that her mom was the artist. I found a medium size one for her, and told her the whole story of how it was made. Then she noticed how I signed it – “IKMP ’86” and asked what that was all about. And I told her, kid, when I was a senior, I made a promise to myself that I’d make a mark and nobody would ever forget me. That stands for:

I Kept My Promise, Class of ’86

Oh, the look in my daughter’s eyes – it was a keeping moment.

You know, back when I was at college, I never really thought of how my children would view my achievements. What an unbelievable feeling it was to see my kid appreciate my work. I was a child back then, I’m a mom right now….and yet it all became bridged during that moment.

I thank the universe for that experience, I shall never forget it.

Rutgers Math

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Some nice Rutgers goodies:

DDR Dance Dance Revolution – oh what great fun and a calorie burner!

Afternoon everyone,

Oh I’m smooshed!

After several hours of patience marketing online, I challenged my kids to Dance Dance Revolution. Now, we used to do this all the time during the summer at Camp Ling, so it’s been quite awhile since I last put my feet on those mats.

My gosh, talk about, ahem, uncoordinated! My skills apparently have melted away during the months I’ve not tried it. I see the arrows on the screen and say to my feet, okay feet, move to the correct arrow…and it just doesn’t happen. :) But still, it’s great fun! We were at it for about an hour.

And for us parents/moms/dads/etc., DDR is a terrific calorie burner! There’s a practice and test mode as well, so you can train your feet to move to the correct arrows during specific beats. And don’t forget about

That’s where smart parents like us gather to share tips on doing well! And don’t knock Dance Dance Revolution as an extreme exercise – many people have lost dozens of pounds doing it. DDR Weight Loss Stories are most interesting to read.

Here are some more great DDR resources:

If you’re looking for something to do at home that really gets the blood pumping and your heart rate up, do yourself a favor and check it out; age is no factor! You’ll be happy you did.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Here are some nice DDR pads:

DIY Elmo birthday cake, Dollar Stores to the rescue and more

Morning,

Well! Today I had to give up my early morning P90x routine (’twill be Yoga Death when it does happen) so I could prepare for a child’s birthday.

It always amazes me how much money parents will spend on young children’s birthday parties, especially when with regards to gifts, the kids play with them for an hour or so and then whomp, into the toy bin it goes, never to be played with again.

Not in the Ling family! We live by some rather super Dollar Stores (it’s pretty amazing, actually, the things you can get for a dollar) and yesterday, I picked up 10 or so items I know will be adored for at least an hour before, you got it, they become forgotten. But at least, big chunks of money won’t have been wasted!

I also got the balloon, table decoration cover, sparklies, streamers, etc., and spent this morning setting up the kitchen for the birdieDay. The ice cream cake was especially unique – I always make them like so:

  • Go to Pathmark
  • Pick up cookie dough ice cream and chocolate chip cookies and vanilla chips
  • Return home, let ice cream melt for an hour
  • Get a bowl. Line it with plastic wrap.
  • Put softened ice cream in bowl up ’til one inch below the top
  • Mix in vanilla chips
  • In another bowl, break up cookies and mix with ice cream. Pour that on top TO the top (it’s the cookie base.
  • Cover and freeze

In the morning, the plastic wrap gives you hand holds to remove the ice cream – turn it upside down and voila, an ice cream cake you have! After that, I slathered on frosting and then designed an Elmo face on top. It’s currently back in the freezer, waiting for everyone to wake up.

I don’t mind spending money when kids are old enough to appreciate the adventure, so my little birthday route leaves the kids thrilled and me with some savings left. :-)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Elmo is very popular with Birthdays….

Life is a four letter word……..I think you spell it L-O-V-E

Morning,

I was reminded of the following poem from a conversation with a good friend yesterday. I first read this back in college, and have loved it ever since.

Life is a four letter word……..
I think you spell it L-O-V-E

It’s really as simple as that……

No, I don’t really think that I can totally describe love
but I do know some things about it.

Seems to me that in order to be in love, you have to be
able to be weak. Sure, certain aspects of love take
a real strength. But, it is true that in order to
experience love at its best, you have to be able to
be weak, vulnerable and accept the possibility that
you might get hurt. If you are too tough to let
yourself be so open for attack, then I am afraid you
can never feel love to its fullest.

Is it worth it to take such a risk. I don’t know the answer to
that….but I do know that even though I have gotten
hurt occasionally, I would do it all over again. The
Joys were more memorable than the pain.

Actually, most of the times that I ended up hurt were not because
I left myself vulnerable, but rather that my stupidity tricked
me into arming myself against “the one I loved”, so that she
couldn’t hurt me. Once I let myself take the defensive,
I usually ended up causing more problems than I solved.

What should a person do: Should a person be tougher and more
protective of themselves even though they take away from
the full effect of love….Or should you be more vulnerable
and weak and open to possible attack….

I am WEAK! Not because I choose to be this way….but rather because
in all honesty, I know no other way.

I am weak….I sometimes get hurt….but I have felt love….

-JT

You know, it’s been 20 years since I first read that poem….and I can honestly say, my life’s experiences have shown me that the above is so, so, so SO very true. I too have been hurt and decimated and burned to the ground by folks whom I chose to give the gift of love….but now with the benefit of hindsight, I thank the universe that I was able to have those experiences. They made me grow… and gave me the wisdom to choose better in the future and love my husband/family/friends with an open heart.

Love is just that….a gift. Give it wisely! and not to people who are not worthy of your own special inner beauty. The person who receives your love is under no obligation to treasure it as they should…and you must be open to that possibility. Once you accept that, any emotional hurts are reduced….for you can only feel sorrow for people who let such a treasure as yourself….get away.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here are some cute love thingees: