Category: Wisdom After 40

Wisdom after 40

Dealing with cowardly lying children so they learn

You know, it never fails. Give yourself permission to actually take off time from work, give yourself permission to shut down and actually (gasp!) relax, and you immediately will have a crisis emerge with your small children that require your full attention and intervention.

Sigh.

So. Today, two of my single-digit kids decided to, ahem, conceive of creative uses for a broom. Now, this is not just any broom, mind you – it’s the Broom of Destiny, the Broom of Awesomeness, in other words, the only broom that really picks up parakeet feathers rather well and sweeps the floor adequately. End result – el broomo was snapped in two-o.

ARGH!!!!!

Okay, it’s just a broom – I have the wisdom to be calm and dignified about it. I gave a talk to them as to the utter unintelligence of that act, and sent them off to their room. But then I thought about it – one of my kids had earnestly told me, my brother was the one who broke it….but then he also admitted, he was doing the exact same thing as well.

In essence? He took the coward’s way out and tried putting 100% of the blame on his brother.

Ooooooo, not a good thing! If there’s one thing about which I’m completely irrational, it’s cowardice. It’s totally unacceptable in my family! And trying to shift blame to another person, simply to save one’s sorry hide, is the act of something rather pathetic.

So, I called back said kid and read him the riot act about such behaviors. I really harped on being strong and being brave and taking responsibility/ownership of one’s actions, even if those actions were wrong.

Sigh.

But I think I made my point. While it was tempting to simply cause as much angst responsible, I focused on getting the point across and discussing the issue with him. Thus, it’s a lesson learned…at the expense of my rest.

Ah well, the joys of being a parent. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – need help with raising kids? Check out these cool books:



Perils of Hollywood’s Master Cleanse Diet, Lemon Detox Diet, etc.

Morning!

It does my heart good to see responsible bloggers alerting the public to the dangers of scams that involve colon cleansing. I just found the Dangers of Hollywood’s Master Cleanse Diet, Lemon Detox, Diet and it’s definitely worth reading! To wit:

… Raylen Sterling has hit upon a popular way to lose weight fast, but should you be concerned about doing the Lemon Detox Diet or Hollywood Master Cleanse Diet when Raylen Sterling is not a doctor, nor has he been to medical school?

The diet is essentially a ten day fast, with pre-determined drinks, primarily lemonade. But there is more to the Master Cleaner Diet than a lemonade fast. According to Mr. Sterling, the diet works by consuming large volumes of water, fiber, and some raw vegetables.

The Lemon Detox Diet sounds appealing, but there’s more to the diet than lemonade, water, and fiber combinations mentioned above …..MORE….

The article is replete with great information you need to know before you even consider any scams like Master Cleaning. Enjoy reading!

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Eating clean would be far more beneficial:



Keeping your eyes on the prize – setting and achieving goals

Picture the following –

  • You are put in charge of building a new resource/community site.
  • You have to set up and configure blogs, forums, and article submissions.
  • You have to build a several-thousand category resource area
  • You have to modify all the graphics
  • You have to raise 4 kids at the same time, keep your exercise/fitness to level, and take time out to be with your family for relaxation.

AND….you have to do all of the above….yourself.

It’s truly challenging.

What I’ve noticed that helps a heck of a lot is to compartmentalize your work load. For example, if I allowed myself to focus on the sum effort that’s required, I’d retreat to my bedroom and hide under my comforter!

Instead, every morning now, I tell myself, okay Barbara, here’s where you are…and here’s where the site needs to be. What can you work on today that makes it happen?

By following this methodology, I managed to free myself of any incoming panic…and allow myself to burst past any web-based development barriers I might have thought I possessed. My gosh, I’m astounded at what I’ve created so far.

Goal-achieving is not a race for sanity-loss! You know yourself best….whenever you feel overwhelmed with what’s required, take a step back and ask yourself, okay, what’s the best possible approach to tackle one teeny tiny aspect? And once that aspect is done, you can dive into the next, and the next, and …. you get the idea.

Here are some resources for achieving goals:

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some get personal success resources:

48 Ways of Wisdom

Morning!

Today I came across the page

And wow, it’s really quite superb! Written by Rabbi Noah Weinberg, all 48 pages are definitely thought-provoking. They include:

  • Way #2 Listen Effectively
  • Way #3 Say It Out Loud
  • Way #4 Introduce Yourself to Yourself
  • Way #8 Constant Joy
  • Way #19 Wake Up and Live
  • Way #24 Search For Wisdom
  • Way #34 Use Your Inner Guide
  • Way #37 Never Be Bored
  • Way #38 Responsible Decisions
  • Way #45 Expand Your Ideas

Do check them out! You’ll be glad you did so.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – need more wisdom? Consider:

“Sexy” means no stress – Ekornes Stressless chair review

Morning all,

A really big component to looking great and feeling great

and looking sexy and feeling sexy is have little to no stress in your life…and more importantly, in your body and muscles as well.

Stress is a really big problem in today’s society for today’s wise people. It can make you tense, your muscles rigid and cause all sorts of aches and pains. I have news for you – “Achy” does not “Sexy” make!

Nor does it make “Wise.” So often, we’re so consumed with getting everything done yesterday that we neglect one of the most important components of ourselves – our bodies and relaxation.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is give yourself permission to decompress and relax. But to really do so, you need an extraordinarily comfortable chair! We here at the Ling family are quite lucky – 8 years ago, we invested in an Ekorness stressless chair, and haven’t looked back since.Ekornes Stressless Chair

The Ekornes stressless chair is quite pricey, make no mistake about that…but wow, how it supports your back and lumbar spine and all those areas that crave kind gentle touches!! Quite frankly, I have no idea how they managed to engineer such quality into such a dynamic piece of furniture, but I can tell you this – it makes any resting time a period of utter bliss. My husband uses it for napping occasionally, and I use it just to simply rest and relax. 10 minutes (preferably with hot coffee! and soothing music) can really get your mind and body back to where you want them to be.

From their website:

…Offering patented features you won’t find on other recliners, from the glide system that follows your slightest movements, to the Plus™ system for correct neck and lumbar support in every position, Stressless® is still known as the ultimate recliner….

The Plus system automatically provides correct support for your head and lumbar area in all positions. The lower back support adjusts in parallel with the headrest, so you can enjoy perfect support, whether you are sitting in an upright or reclining position. The headrest adjusts automatically, so you can read and watch TV even in a reclined position. You can also adjust the headrest with a simple hand movement to lie flat and relax. ….MORE….

And I can certainly vouch for that!

You have to go thru distributors to get official Ekorness Stressless recliners – you can find them here. However, you might also find them listed on Craigslist, as well as eBay.

If you’re seriously looking for the top of the line stress-less recliner, look no further – it lasts and lasts (our is 8 years old) and works wonders for your body.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here’s some Ekornes discounts on eBay:

Turning negative energy into positive results – otherwise known as wisdom

A quick post before I give myself permission to collapse in a heap!

You know, I firmly believe, everything happens for a reason.

You cannot control how people react to you or your work…but you CAN choose to control how you react to said reactions. :) Either….

You can feel really mad/annoyed/misunderstood/etc.

or

You can say, to hell with that…I’m going to blast past my previous work boundaries and utterly master the current challenge, and if you value your health, you’ll get out of my way!

Politics! Argh. I hate them.

The ability not to communicate successfully – hate that too!

But! When it comes right down to it, if you give into the luxury of feeling unhappy, you’re:

  • Letting time pass by that could be spent far more productively
  • Giving control of your emotions to others
  • Being really darned not-smart!!

So! Upon dealing with some negative interactions online, I chose to sit and re-evaluate my current business dealings. I took a long, hard look at where my strengths lie, where my energies should be expended, and how I should attack the future.

The result? Well, you’re looking at one of them – I completely overhauled my blog and look and feel and layout. It’s far more user-friendly and searchable!

AND…I thoroughly took apart several sites online and taught myself the techniques that were being used. You know, it’s truly astonishing how I can pick up anything online if I put my mind to it…. anything I need to do, I can build and create. ’tis a good skill to have.

So I’m currently building another resource that is yet un-named…but it will incorporate everything I’ve learned since 1998 until 3 years in the future. And look out world then!

This really highlights to me the importance of taking ownership of your own emotions and actions. It’s so easy for our kids to say, oh, she made me mad so I didn’t finish my work, or she hurt my feelings so I stopped everything and cried for 2 hours! Poor me!
But you know something? Doing that…is delivering control to people who really aren’t worthy of your time or feelings. So why on earth would you shackle your own abilities this way?

Gosh, if I can teach this to my kids…I will be SuperMom.

I’ve been working non-stop now for several hours, and really have to call it a day. But tomorrow after the gym…I’ll be on fire yet again to make things happen and create miracles for my family. And to think…this energy originally came about with negative emotions….but I chose to re-direct it into something truly special for the future.

You can choose to do this too!

NEVER give others power over you. Never ever. Instead, rely upon your own inner-strength…and declare to the world, you will NOT stop me! I can accomplish anything I choose to do.

Got it? Good! :)

Night night all,

Barbara

ps – some nifty wisdom goodies!

I am Woman! I’m not only Mom or Wife or Executive or …..

You know, as I continue to travel thru this thing called LIFE, I’m becoming more and more aware of how dangerous it is to lose site of your own inner self.

Sure, I’m a mom. A super mom, I’ll admit!

And yes, I’m a wife, an utterly wondrous one too.

Add entrepreneur to that as well!

And “All Around Problem Solver” is right up there.

Wait! Don’t forget about “Good/Great friend” to those people who are important to me. I look out for them, and (unless they take me for granted), are always there to help out.

But! Take all those people I listed up there – what about Me, the woman?

Me, the person who drives all those other aspects of my personality?

You see, I’m starting to realize that when you’re everything to everyone, you run the risk of being nothing to yourself. And when you sputter out of gas, you end up being no good to anyone at all (and that is truly a shame for your family).

So! All you superWomen and superMen out there…all you folks who are stable rock-hard bastions of support to those whom you love and care about….

Do you give yourself permission to be as good to yourself as you are to everyone else?

I cannot begin to describe how important a well-balanced, directed energy for yourself can be. I’ve now been taking advantage of that myself – I treat myself to activities I adore that my family members might view askance (P90x, Karate, Kendo, Jui jitsu, etc.), I give myself permission to tell the kids I’m off-duty and retreat to my room and relax, etc.

Do you take time for yourself as well?

You really should! You’re not just how others view you…you’re important to yourself, just as you are.

Never forget that.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here are some nice ways to treat yourself:

Broke 150 pounds in lat pulldowns, 110 in chest press and ….

Hi all,

Quick post before I call it a night – today we took the kids to the gym, and while my husband swam with them, I tackled the Cybex room. True, I’m still supposed to be in recovery week, but hey…I couldn’t wait to start lifting once again. Bad mom!

The good news is, I broke 110 pounds with the chest press and 150 pounds with the lat pulldown (yay!). Considering that when I first started with Cybex, I was at 55 pounds with the chest press and 90 pounds with the lat pulldown, I’m pretty pleased with my progress – this is 5 pounds more than I was able to do prior to the P90x recovery week. So I guess recovery ideas really do work!!

I’m also pretty happy with the idea that I do not let my age interfere with what I choose to achieve. I think this is common-sense wisdom – you’re only as old as your spirit is light. And right now, I feel kinda sorta like a feather. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some neat weight lifting goodies!

100 karate front kicks, 100 karate round house kicks, 100 karate jump front kicks…..

Morning!

I’ve come to the conclusion that to flow better in karate, it would reeeeealllly help if I practiced at home. Thus, I’m creating my own home-study program of the basics, and so far, it seems to be rather useful indeed.

Let’s take front kicks. The key to getting height, obviously, is to raise your knee high (the crowd goes wild!) and then kick. But what if you’re rather, ahem, a klutz at that?

Simple! Just practice raising your knee…and that’s it. And do it again and again and again and again and …. you get the idea. Eventually, your thighs realize, hey! I can lift high! And once you’re at that point, you can then focus on the actual kick outwards. Do that 100 times on both sides.

Next, tackle the round house kicks. This is the kick I like but am lousy at – it involves pivoting on the left ankle, which is quite difficult for me. However, I’ve learned that even someone as graceless as me can improve – it’s all a matter of staying within your center of gravity. Then do those, 100 times on both sides.

Next, let’s talk jump front kicks! They’re still pretty impossible for me. But! I have managed to break down the moves like I did with the front kicks, and am now practicing them one at a time. It will take time, I know, but every day I can feel myself getting better and better.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in during my life, it’s that you should never accept commonly-held beliefs without testing the boundaries yourself. And if you run into a roadblock, modify! Compensate! Never give up – you’ll almost always discover the one super way that works for you.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some neat Karate goodies!