Category: Sexy After 40

Danger Will Robinson – 10 dismal guys from whom you should dash away, dash away, dash away fast!

Morning,

I just came across this clever compilation of 10 guy types that are guaranteed to make your life seem worse than the Black Death. It includes:

… One guy is needier than quicksand. Another is jealous of your cocker spaniel. A third quietly hates all womankind. Here’s a list of men you should put in your rearview mirror, ASAP.

Certain clues in the way a man acts may be a hint that you need to ditch him.

Joe No-Show
You meet in a city where neither of you lives, at a convention or a wedding. The calls and e-mails are making the phone lines sweat; two months later, he’s begging you to visit.

You tell the woman next to you on the plane that, after years of searching, you think you’ve met The One, and the two of you giggle with anticipation all the way to baggage claim.

Thirty minutes later, when the carousel stops going around, she looks at you with deep pity and asks if she can give you a ride somewhere. That’s the moment to go straight back to the ticket counter.

Mr. Jealousy
At first, he’ll get a little short with a waiter who flirts with you. Then he’ll be exasperated by how long you and the postmaster discuss the rising price of stamps. When he points out that you and your brother hug too long to be appropriate or that your gynecologist is a lesbian and obviously has the hots for you, it’s time to give him his walking papers.

However flattering his jealousies may seem in the first five minutes of your relationship, they’ll get old and confining more quickly than you can imagine, and when you do finally break up with him, he will hang the scarves you left behind on your trees like nooses and follow you and the next man you date all over town.

The Bully
This is the man who sits you down, grabs your arm, pulls your hair, or pokes your chest. While most of us know better than to let ourselves get socked in the mouth the way Ralph Kramden was always threatening to do to Alice (but even then never following through), there’s a whole universe of more “minor” infractions in the violence department that should disqualify your new beau instantaneously (but all too often does not).

The Two-Timer
For the first time since you’ve been dating, he’s too sick to make a date. You try to ignore the fact that it happens to be your birthday, and you assemble the ingredients for your famous chicken soup. You drop it off inside his door.

Two days later, he’s still sick, but you’ve been invited over. You ask if you can heat up some soup for him, and he says, in a small, congested voice, “That would be wonderful.” You pour the soup from the Tupperware into the pot, and you see that there are mushrooms in it. Your famous chicken soup doesn’t contain mushrooms. Conclude that this man has another source of soup and will continue to cheat on you for as long as you give him the chance….MORE….

I can add my own – the guy for whom his toys are not only life, they’re the reasons for being. Unless you’re a toy-girl too. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – want some love?

Fat and Sexy by Mr. Spock – The Full Body Project

Morning,

I just heard about Leonard Nimoy’s new book, The Full Body Project. Contrary to the majority of Hollywood icons, he promotes a healthier concept of just what makes a woman sexy.

To wit:

…Serious props go out to Leonard Nimoy for his book, The Full Body Project: Photographs by Leonard Nimoy. He is promoting a healthier vision of what makes a woman sexy. It’s a photography book that focuses on the larger sized woman.

He even had the cajones to go onto the Colbert Report and defend his book…MORE…

Kudos to Starling Fitness for reporting this!

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – if you’re plus-sized, check out these goodies:

Top 12 Diet Weight Loss or Fitness Valentines Day Gifts Ideas

Tomorrow is

Valentines Day! Wheeeee!

I just finished shopping for my husband and it was truly delightful – our 14 years of marriage has given us a great sense of comfortableness and enjoyment, not to mention a healthy appreciation of each’s other’s, ahem, sensual potential. I can’t post what I got him yet, as he reads my blog, but suffice it to say, it will look really sexy on him. :)

So! Onto the top 12 Valentine’s Diet and Weight Loss ideas!

12.) An Amazon gift certificate. Now now, don’t look at me that way – Amazon has thousands of great diet/weightloss exercise goodies at super discounts and bargains! If you give this, your recipient can pick and choose to his or her’s hearts content and you know the final present will be just what was wanted.

11.) Sweetleaf No Calorie/No Carb Sweetener. Clocking in at luxurious tastes, this power-packed drop gives intense flavor to coffee, water, oatmeal, yogurt, etc. It comes in chocolate raspberry, apricot, cinnamon, vanilla creme and many more!

10.) Richard Simmons Workouts. Don’t believe me? RS has highly overweight people who are featured in his workout videos like Sweatin’ to the Oldies III, and you’re left thinking, gosh, if they can do it, I can do it too! Highly recommended.

9.) P90x. The ultimate in extreme home fitness, it compels you to work different muscle groups on different days and actually delivers on its promises. I’m currently on Day 45 of it myself! eBay has it at great discounts too.

8.) Spa Gift Cards. Every person wants to relax…and a great spa day or relaxation hour is a perfect way to tell your lover how much you care.

7.) Love Coupons! Why not print out a free love coupon that you can give to your Valentine, redeemable for a night of unforgettable delights, an hour of wondrous massage, or heck, breakfast in bed or one load of laundry done?

6.) Ekornes Stressless Chair. Okay, true, these cost over a grand, so it would certainly make a statement! But I have to tell you, it’s the most comfortable chair on this planet and really takes off the pressure on your lumber spine. I have one currently as my office chair, and it’s pure heaven.

5.) Tiger Balm. This ointment is perfect for rubbing on sore muscles after fatiguing workouts and is cost-conscious to boot!

4.) iPod/MP4. Not only can your Valentine listen to music while working out, he or she can also download free exercise/fitness apps for it to keep track of workouts too! And you don’t have to buy brand-name – the generics work just as well and are centuries cheaper. I wrote a long how-to about this topic here.

3.) Dance Dance Revolution DDR. Omigosh, I cannot begin to rhapsodize about how many calories you’ll burn nor how much fun you’ll have doing this particular game! You stand on a dance mat, listen to music and try to move your feet in the right spot at the right time. You can even battle each other! It’s tops in my household here.

2.) Childhood comforts. What causes your Valentine to think back on a childhood comfort? For me, for example, it’s my LL Bean houserobe that my mom got me, oh, hmmmm….lesseee, 15 years ago. I refuse to give it up and even got my kids ones that are similar. Do you know what translates into ‘comfort/safety/warm fuzzies’? If so, get thee hence to eBay and look for it – chances are, you’ll uncover it and be able to offer one truly unique gift.

And the Number 1 idea for a great diet weight loss or fitness Valentine’s Day gift is:

1.) Let your Valentine See Into Your Heart. Write a poem, or a story, or simply why you utterly adore your Valentine…put some signature scent into the paper, roll it up and tie it with something beautiful, and hand it to him or her on Valentine’s Day. I guarantee…it will make the most incredible impression…..ever. (need a poem idea? Check out this one about which I blogged awhile ago).

Enjoy!

Barbara

ps – and of course, you can always go with:

Life, friends and family are truly wonderful blessings – the true secret to happiness

It’s always ‘way smart

when one listens to their bodies…and takes it easy to the xtreme.

Okay, true, I did get my P90x workout in, but besides that, I gave myself permission to take a nap in the morning, nix going to the gym, and enjoy some nice calm work online.

But the thing that really made an impression on me today was at karate. I normally do not take beginners anymore, as I’m ‘way past that, but my daughter’s friend participated so I joined in again. And I was able to watch my kids practice, and then see my husband arrive with the other kids, and watch how content they were….and I realized that now, in my 40s, life is really darned good.

I think that the true secret to happiness is appreciating the good times, loving your family, laughing with your friends, realizing the bad times – they do indeed pass, and witnessing how your actions can give joy to the lives of those important to you.

Work – it’s transient.

Shallow friendships – they’re beyond transient.

Angsting over the small stuff – a waste of time beyond belief.

Teaching the above to your kids and letting them internalize what’s really important to them – now that’s an incredible gift to give.

So! If you have folks you love and people you cherish and family members who mean the world to you – take the time and let them know how special they are. I did today, and it really made their day. So often, we just don’t take the time to let people know their importance in our lives.

I am one lucky woman indeed, I am.

Time to call it a night,

Barbara

ps – Valentine’s day is coming up!

How to make super-relaxing aromatherapy massage oil

One of the nicest things

you can give your spouse/family/friends/etc. is a great massage. And it’s even better if you can make your own signature massage oil to use with it!

I was reminded of this…because I just ran out of my latest batch this morning. So I had to whip up another batch, which prompted me to share my expertise.

I always like using a mixture of aquaflor and olive oil. I generally use the ratio:

1 to 3

Aquaflor to olive oil

and then heat that until it all liquifies. Into that, I’ll put essential oils of:

  • rose
  • sandalwood
  • cinnamon (must be very careful with that, it can burn)
  • wintergreen
  • lavender
  • clove

When it cools down to room temperature, it’s a solid once again…and works dandy for massages.

I also have coconut oil but haven’t yet tried that in my mixtures.

In any case, the final product is great for when you do skin-on-skin contact. However, it’s not edible, so get that idea out of your head now. :) Stick with veggie oils if that’s of interest to you.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – some already-made massage oils are:

The art of massage – so much more than a sensual exercise

One of the best things of working

at home is having a spouse who will proactively say, you look tired, want a massage? I had been working many hours straight since the wee hours of this morning, and let me tell you, that offer was one I snapped up with gratitude.

Now, massages can be a great prelude to sensual activities, but they can also be used as an extremely effective method for sheer relaxation with no strings attached. I’m a big proponent of massages; they’re a treat both to receive and to give.

Personally, I prefer the acupressure method of massages – that of following along your energy meridians across the back/legs/etc. There are lots of techniques you can use to relax the massagee, including music, aromatherapy, and long slow strokes coupled with emotional calmness.

Here are some of my favorite massage resources:

Now, regarding aromatherapy, I’ve found many people like my husband like the scent of lavender. I tend to associate instead scents of pine and rose with calmness (sandalwood is also a wonderful scent as well). One of the best places to get essential oils for massage oil is

Best of Nature

I’ve bought from there since 1993 and they always have a quality product (and super-fast mail delivery too!).

Finally, if you really want to get exotic with extremely feather-light massages…. use feathers! Peacock feathers, to be precise – they work wonders in sparking up the central nervous system. :)

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Some great massage discounts include:

What is sexy to you?

You know what is sexy to me?

Confidence.

I think if you’re confident in your own attractiveness and personality, you simply project a sexy image. It doesn’t have to be overt, it doesn’t have to be blatant…it’s simply, you know you’re a terrific human bean.

So many times, women (and men!) over 40 think that to be sexy, they have to compete with the 20 somethings or 30 somethings etc. I personally disagree. For one thing, if the person in whom you are interested is so shallow that they put looks/superficialness first, well then, that person really isn’t worth your time (or if she/he is, it’s simply to be used as a toy).

Your 40+ years have probably given you wisdom the younger set simply lack. Because you know yourself so well, you can project a aura of, I know my value…and if you’re smart, you’ll recognize it too. But hey, if you’re not, that’s your problem, not mine.

One of my favorite quotes is, I could be knock-kneed, cross-eyed and balding, and still be one of the sexiest persons anyone can meet. It’s all in the way you come across, all in the way you make the other person feel they’re the most important individual alive, all in the way you can enhance each other’s experiences.

So what is ‘sexy’ to you? Is it an open mind? Is it the ability to listen? If you’re attracted to me, is it biceps to die for and deltoids of delight? If you’re attracted to women, is it a figure that just doesn’t quit? And after the sex is done, is there anything else left that retains the aura of sexiness, or was it simply a transient experience that dissipates and leaves you feeling, ahem, what happened to the magic?

Know thyself! And your self-confidence will only improve.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – Want some sexy glasses?

“Sexy” means no stress – Ekornes Stressless chair review

Morning all,

A really big component to looking great and feeling great

and looking sexy and feeling sexy is have little to no stress in your life…and more importantly, in your body and muscles as well.

Stress is a really big problem in today’s society for today’s wise people. It can make you tense, your muscles rigid and cause all sorts of aches and pains. I have news for you – “Achy” does not “Sexy” make!

Nor does it make “Wise.” So often, we’re so consumed with getting everything done yesterday that we neglect one of the most important components of ourselves – our bodies and relaxation.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is give yourself permission to decompress and relax. But to really do so, you need an extraordinarily comfortable chair! We here at the Ling family are quite lucky – 8 years ago, we invested in an Ekorness stressless chair, and haven’t looked back since.Ekornes Stressless Chair

The Ekornes stressless chair is quite pricey, make no mistake about that…but wow, how it supports your back and lumbar spine and all those areas that crave kind gentle touches!! Quite frankly, I have no idea how they managed to engineer such quality into such a dynamic piece of furniture, but I can tell you this – it makes any resting time a period of utter bliss. My husband uses it for napping occasionally, and I use it just to simply rest and relax. 10 minutes (preferably with hot coffee! and soothing music) can really get your mind and body back to where you want them to be.

From their website:

…Offering patented features you won’t find on other recliners, from the glide system that follows your slightest movements, to the Plus™ system for correct neck and lumbar support in every position, Stressless® is still known as the ultimate recliner….

The Plus system automatically provides correct support for your head and lumbar area in all positions. The lower back support adjusts in parallel with the headrest, so you can enjoy perfect support, whether you are sitting in an upright or reclining position. The headrest adjusts automatically, so you can read and watch TV even in a reclined position. You can also adjust the headrest with a simple hand movement to lie flat and relax. ….MORE….

And I can certainly vouch for that!

You have to go thru distributors to get official Ekorness Stressless recliners – you can find them here. However, you might also find them listed on Craigslist, as well as eBay.

If you’re seriously looking for the top of the line stress-less recliner, look no further – it lasts and lasts (our is 8 years old) and works wonders for your body.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here’s some Ekornes discounts on eBay:

I am Woman! I’m not only Mom or Wife or Executive or …..

You know, as I continue to travel thru this thing called LIFE, I’m becoming more and more aware of how dangerous it is to lose site of your own inner self.

Sure, I’m a mom. A super mom, I’ll admit!

And yes, I’m a wife, an utterly wondrous one too.

Add entrepreneur to that as well!

And “All Around Problem Solver” is right up there.

Wait! Don’t forget about “Good/Great friend” to those people who are important to me. I look out for them, and (unless they take me for granted), are always there to help out.

But! Take all those people I listed up there – what about Me, the woman?

Me, the person who drives all those other aspects of my personality?

You see, I’m starting to realize that when you’re everything to everyone, you run the risk of being nothing to yourself. And when you sputter out of gas, you end up being no good to anyone at all (and that is truly a shame for your family).

So! All you superWomen and superMen out there…all you folks who are stable rock-hard bastions of support to those whom you love and care about….

Do you give yourself permission to be as good to yourself as you are to everyone else?

I cannot begin to describe how important a well-balanced, directed energy for yourself can be. I’ve now been taking advantage of that myself – I treat myself to activities I adore that my family members might view askance (P90x, Karate, Kendo, Jui jitsu, etc.), I give myself permission to tell the kids I’m off-duty and retreat to my room and relax, etc.

Do you take time for yourself as well?

You really should! You’re not just how others view you…you’re important to yourself, just as you are.

Never forget that.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here are some nice ways to treat yourself:

Want to shake your booty? Crunch Go Go really helps! review

Afternoon all,

One of the things I’m discovering since really getting back into shape/stretching/etc. is that my legs and hips can actually, ahem, move. This was quite startling to me, as I never had taken advantage of that before in my 20s!

In my search for getting in tune with my body, I came across:

This is “Crunch Go Go by Gypsy” and let me tell you, it’s one rocking, fun workout! I added it to my cardio routine because it teaches you not only how to shake your hips/shoulders, but also how to walk/strut/etc. the same way. Interestingly enough, this seems to have helped a chronic ache I used to have with my hips and legs, so obviously…. I’m sold on it. :) The added benefit of being able to move with confidence is also most beneficial as well.

Here are other places you can find reviews:

I was able to get my own copy of Crunch Cardio Go Go Fitness at a discount over at Kmart – it was only $9.99.

In short, if you’re looking to learn how to move your body sexily but don’t want to practice in front of others, this is a great workout to have.

Enjoy,

Barbara

ps – here’s where you can get Crunch Go Go at a discount!